Many patients come to my office complaining of significant behavioral difficulties with their children. They ask, "What can we do, he's so difficult??!" Oftentimes, I will share a tip with them that involves rewarding for correct behavior. Parents often respond that they feel funny rewarding their child for something he is "supposed to be doing anyway." I thought I would take a minute to explain why rewarding a child works and why it is usually the best approach for behavior change.
When a child is not behaving appropriately, there is usually a root cause. From lack of motivation at one end of the spectrum to significant emotional/learning problem on the other. There is something that is getting in the way of them doing well. Children do well if they can do well. No one chooses to be oppositional, lazy, difficult... that is not an easy way to get through life. Chances are, your child needs more support in performing up to expectations. If you punish and reprimand, it usually adds to a "piling on" effect and your child ends up feeling worse about herself than she did before (and less likely to comply in the future!)
So, reward away. Break down the task into manageable steps and add rewards and reinforcers for success. But be warned, the rewards should be small (i.e., dimes, "points" toward TV watching or Wii playing, or playdates, special time with mom/dad, or even special treats). You should never feel like you are heaping material possessions onto your child. Constant praise for real success combined with small motivators usually result in the best outcome for a change in behavior.
Children do well if they can, you're just helping to define the goals and giving them the tools to achieve them. Bribes help you get what you want in the short-term but positive reinforcers are teaching tools for better behavior and for your child's increased feeling of competence.
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